Beast Eden Way: Scene One


Beast Eden Way


Robin Fulford

(December 2009)



No Flies In Suburbia - 2
Frank the Fly - 7 (t mono)
Palette of Existence - 10
Food Not Appetite - 20 (h mono)
White Plastic Chairs - 24
Eschew the Ugly - 32 (h mono)
Little Sausages - 34
Carcass of my Ennui - 39
Secret Experiments - 45 (t mono)
The Beast Don't Knock - 46
Maroon Bloom - 53 (h mono)
The Pleasure Drill - 55
Gumption Howl - 62 (t mono)
Jam - 65 (h mono)
Abridged Radically - 67

A weekday evening.  Trevor and Heather, mid 30's, married a year, are in their new suburban house, still empty and undecorated.  Walls are white.  A cheap chandelier sits on the floor but is attached to the ceiling by its chain and wire.  The chandelier can be moved around while still illuminated.

No Flies In Suburbia

(dark - sound of deep throbbing thunder - chandelier slowly illuminates revealing trevor and heather considering the thunder)

t: i hate beginnings

h: i've got a million ideas

t: what time will they come

h: when they're ready

t: approximately what time

h: in a while
you know when i look at these walls
i see our colours
what they are going to be
what they should be

t: i like white

h: white is too much like thinking

t: how many colours
are there in the world

h: lots
an infinite amount

t: ...should i leave the door open for them

h: flies

t: no flies in this neighbourhood
there's probably a by-law

h: you're so legal sometimes
ask antony he knows all about by-laws

t: oh ya tony likes people to be up on the by-laws

h: it's antony
no one calls him tony
he's just so not a tony
he'll tell you off if you
get that wrong

t: i won't get it wrong
but if i look at him and he's antony
well then antony it is
but if i look at him and it's tony
well then -

h: the colour possibilities are many

t: oh yes antony is a guy who likes to tell
but antony isn't a teller kind of name
it's just a bit lacking in something
tony is better if you want to be
a teller kind of person

h: he's on the association in greenvale
which evidently is what our
neighbourhood's  is based on
he's pretty high up there

t: he can tell us things

h: yes he can if we want to keep
the neighbourhood the way
it is supposed to be

t: how is it supposed to be

h: to be us

t: us ah yes us

h: don't be catty

t: a panther
yes i feel like a panther
black sleek crafty dangerous
but i would purr to ronda

h: does ronda like animals

t: it's what you don't know that's tricky

h: its a question of character features
with a bolder application
contentment is assured

t: i don't trust content

h: it's getting dark out
they'll be here soon

t:  there's no outside light
we don't want ronda and antony tripping
and falling headlong into the muck
otherwise antony might be quoting
the muck bylaw

h: be nice to him
he's helped us out a lot
with waiving lawyer's fees and all

t: and all like what

h: giving free advice
and you said you would be nice

t: i am always nice to everyone

h: not to me sometimes

t: i'm only human
but advice about what

h: about what i don't know silly
oh what about the chandelier
what good’s a
chandelier on the floor
they’ve got to get it up
on the other hand
we could put it on the porch
or in the window
as a gesture
can you imagine them pulling
up to our new home with
a chandelier burning brightly
it would say a lot

(she picks up the chandelier and uses the light to look – lights come up)

t: another beginning

h: oh i have so many ideas
come on trev honey
we are celebrating

t: sorry candles upset me

h: what  are you talking about

t: it's true

h: you never told me that before

t: i have lots i haven't told you

h: really like what

t: like anything

h: like what anything

t: i don't know

h: well what about the candles

t: my aunt burned me

h: what did you do

t: nothing i was five
too young to do much of anything

h: really

t: she tripped

h: pretty thoughtless of her

t: on my shoe

h: ah there's always a reason

t: dripped hot wax on me

h: it's only wax

t: i yelped like a dog

h: i want a pet now that
we're in the new place

t: you can pet me

h: let's start thinking about
the colour for the kitchen

t:  i have no appetite


Comments? Tell Robin -


Back to Current | Back to Main Contents Page